Wednesday, March 19, 2008

ICS: Invisible Car Syndrome

Welcome to my world--I swear I'm not paranoid. No really, in fact I really don't think it has much to do with me at all, but it's been happening more lately. Not like all the time, or every day--but once a month or so, I'll be stopped at a stoplight in full traffic swell and I look over and there it is: ICS strikes again.

What is ICS? Well it stands for Invisible Car Syndrome. That's an official diagnosis, by the way, for someone who decides to stop a full car-length back from the crosswalk starting line of a red light. Why do they do this? I have no idea. But I've seen it more frequently here in LA. Truly, people will stop a full car-length back from the crosswalk. I don't get it. Maybe they are fearful or hateful of me and so they refuse to sidle up next to my drivers side window--but a full car length? That could be accomplished in a few feet. Perhaps they had a bad experience with a pedestrian? It's been known to happen--a good hood-pounder from an alcohol clutching man can leave you wary. But a full car-length? I don't get it.

It can only be one thing: ICS. These people really think there is a car in front of them, and it's just invisible to the rest of us. An invisible car blocking their way so they can't pull all the way up, so they wait at the light one full car-length back. You don't believe me do you? Proof. Here's a picture of it just yesterday. Proof Positive that people are suffering from a strange disorder called ICS. Be careful. Be wary. Look for it in your city...

ICS is for real...

4 comments:

Allison said...

I think the silver car two lanes over is actually racing the invisible car off the line. Or else he has ICWS -- Invisible Crosswalk Syndrome -- and doesn't see the crosswalk at all.

Em said...

Maybe it's actually
TOMCPNPATR --I'm talking on my cell phone and no paying attention to the road--syndrome. I see that a lot out here.

thomas said...

A few years back a coworker of mine described an argument that she had had with her husband that morning. She shared with me that she had said the word "equivolate" in the heat of the argument, knowing as it left her lips that this was not a word. Her husband said "that isn't even a word" but she stood her ground not wanting to relent on anything that she had said. She was quite distraught about having to concede on any topic raised that morning, and upset that this simple slip of the lips could be a crack in her armor that might have her stumbling down the slippery slope to him winning their debate. Being the supportive friend and inclined toward this type of mischievous endeavor, I constructed a complete Dictionary.com definition (complete with related words, pronunciation keys, language of origin and web advertisements framing the page).

She won that particular argument.

thomas said...

This definition is available upon request. My hope is that it will work its way into modern language securing a spot in the disctionary.